F is For Failed

As I was going through my posts, I had to laugh my last post was for the letter F. For me the letter F turned out to be for failed marriage shortly after the post. But, that doesn't mean we can not continue on and have healthy relationships in the future.

We live in a culture that focuses on romanticizing relationships and we set unrealistic goals and expectations in relationships. We live in a society where the divorce rate is over 50%. The stereotypical couple is no longer the norm. Many couples are in their 2nd or marriages and there are stepchildren involved. 

Not only are many couples faced with learning to live with one another, they are learning co-parenting and dealing with the ex's. Marriage has become very complex and requires a lot of work. You will have the fun days and the days that you just feel like you have failed.  

Just remember, never say anything you do not mean. Words can not be taken back once they have been said. Your partner may forgive you, but they will not forget what was said. 

D is Don't Criticize

One of the golden rules of relationships is "don't criticize" your partner or mate. Stop and think before you speak. Criticism will get you absolutely no where. When you criticize, it becomes a personal attack on your mate. What happens when someone criticizes you? Criticism only angers you. Instead focus on communicating how their negative behavior makes you feel. Help them understand why a particular behavior upsets you. Explain how it makes you feel, so they understand why you feel they way you do. Effective communication will help your partner understand how you feel without making your partner feel like you are launching a personal attack on them.