Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A is for Analyze and Active Listening

Do you remember when you were young and thought love was simple, you thought you would fall in love with someone and will be with them until the chapters of your life and your mere existence comes to a close? At one point or another in our life we remind ourselves,  love is never what you thought it would be. There is light at the end of the tunnel! Love is simple! It is the living breathing human beings who complicate something as simple and beautiful as love. WAIT, WE HAVE THE KEY! 


 [luhv]  Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, asfor a parent, child, or friend.
sexual passion or desire.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person;sweetheart.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection,or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

 The definition of the word love. Sounds simple, right? At least we thought it was simple before actual feelings were stirred up and added to the equation. Then comes along those feelings that make us do crazy things for the person we love.  It has made clearly sane and rational human beings do some crazy things for love. I know I have done some crazy things for love myself. You know those times, those "What was I thinking? times. So now let's get down to the basics of relationships since we started stirring up those skeletons in the closet. Yes, you have skeletons!  You would not be human if you have never ever made a mistake in your entire life that you wish didn't happen.

A is for Analyze.
Analyze yourself, analyze your relationship. Am I the only one who notices the first half of the word is anal. That can be taken in several ways, seriously be anal when it comes to getting to know yourself. To begin working on your relationship you do not need your partner in on the deal from the get go. First, begin with yourself. Learn to truly understand yourself, how to recognize those triggers and learn how to change the way you react to those triggers.

Do a lot of serious soul searching and discover who you are, what you like, what you want from life and from your relationship. But, one thing I always remind people to do is imagine how you would feel if the person you love walked out the door tomorrow? Would you feel happy or would you feel a loss? 

A is also for Active Listening. 
Ask yourself  if you are clearly understanding what your partner is saying to you or are you getting mixed signals from your partner? There are two answers to this question. Yes, you are getting mixed signals from your partner and no you are not getting mixed signals from your partner. One of the major problems with not actively listening is you do not hear what they are saying to you. Thus, you think you are getting mixed signals from your partner. I can not stress enough to be an active listener. It may benefit you in more than one way. Either way, it works out to your benefit.  Don't give up, there is still hope for humans and love.

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